My Christmas... was ok at best.

My family's Christmas was allright. Not much expected given the circumstances of everyone financially. But I am excited at the fact that I get to have my mom's car when she finds a new one that she likes :D. Then the boyfriend's house. His sister got me an awesome shirt, and his mom and dad got me a psuedo-gag gift. It was fun. Since October I had been anticipating giving him his gift. i KNEW he was going to love it. Why? Because ever since i've met him he has been talking about wanting to get a mandolin. So, that's what i got him. Something that he wanted. Simple right? I thought it was too, turns out he likes it. Well not so much like as LOVE it :) Then i went to open my gift.... I learned a valuable lesson. Don't overestimate what someone is EVER going to get you because they are just going to let you down. Yea.. let me down. I had been wanting a digital camera ever since my took a fat dump in october :( A CAMERA. that's ALL i wanted! that's it! what did i get? Did i receive something that would mean the world to me? Or show that he'd been paying attention to all the stuff that i actually like and talk about ? 

Sadly, disappointment runs my life. 

I got a blanket. 

A Fucking Blanket.

He maybe spent 3 minutes on thinking about what to get me max.

He found it in Cabela's and that's how he decided i would like it.

"well, its pink!"

yea... pink.

its not pink btw, it's PRUNE. 

I hate purples.

Almost despise.

But i have to look at the upside of all of this. At least he didn't do what he did for my birthday. What did he do for my birthday you ask?

Absolutely Nothing.

I got a hug and a happy birthday. 

guess i see where i rank.

I'm good enough for a blanket.

"i didn't think that the camera would mean anything to you..."

"its how i keep memories around. since my camera broke i can't keep the memories that i'm making"

"oh..."

"yea."

don't think i'm being ungrateful because i'm not. I was just very disappointed. Nothing for my birthday, a shitty christmas gift, i'm just getting depressed. I at least thought that i would mean more to him. I guess its all i'm worth. "i'm really bad at buying gifts..." No, you just don't pay attention to what people say or want. You don't pay attention when i speak. Period. Its ok. I guess. I dunno. We'll see how everything goes.

ugh.

i need to get over the flu that i currently have. I feel like crap and its really effecting my mood.